Great Uncle Melvin died last week. His funeral was yesterday in Layton.

We were selected, due to our proximity to the funeral, to represent the family.

The last email we had from the family said they would send another email with the address of the church where the services were going to be held at 11:00.

We got everybody up and dressed and were off by 10, but despite Handsome Husband's exquisite directional sense and ecolocution skills, we could not find the chapel. He even bought 2 newspapers and looked in the obits to get an address, but Great Uncle Melvin wasn't in there any longer. I was ready to give up and go home, but Handsome Husband decided to give it one last try, and went to the library to look online. It took a lot of looking, even for him, but we finally found an address. Of a chapel, not a residence.

This is where I would have been lost without either a map-and-compass, or Handsome Husband himself. Well, OK, he did have a map. Online. Not something we have the technology to take with us in the car. He looked at the map, knew instinctively which way north was and thus which way to turn on the streets we were presented with, and got us to the church only 25 minutes late. But it was a long funeral, so we still got to hear an hour's worth of what a great guy Great Uncle Melvin was. And he really seemed to have been a great guy. I was sorry I never met him.

Afterwards, there was a luncheon provided by the Relief Society of the ward (bless their hearts) and we talked to several family members who noted our attendance and rattled off whatever parts of genealogical charts were required in the conversation. Some people could go through the whole thing, with kids, grandkids, their spouses, where they were now and what their profession was, or what they had died of and when. They also took pictures, so we have proof for the rest of the family that we were there. Duty done, and we got a free lunch.

Silent Movies

Yesterday was one of those 19 hour days. Work, plus picking up kids, plus dyeing eggs, plus getting kids set up for an evening without parents, plus a drive to Provo, plus a silent move (The General with Buster Keaton), plus a drive back to SLC. Then I had to get up at 0200 today and drive in to work and do another 10 hour shift.

I won't bore you, but let's just say if it was foggy on the 20th, it was a blizzard on the 22nd!

But let me tell you about silent movies.

First thing they have is "entertainment". For us it was a couple dancing the Charleston. And a brass band playing some music from the '20's. Then we had a sing-along of songs that have been around forever. ( I knew them all.) At least since 1926.

Then, the silent movie.

OK, there's no sound coming from the film, that's true. That's why they're called "silent" movies. But there's this big organ in front, see, and the organist plays all the way through the whole movie, music to fit what's happening on-screen, and music designed to make you cheer or boo or hiss or laugh or cry. They gave us a little practice session before the film actually started, where they'd play music for the heroine and we'd have to make the appropriate sounds, and something for the villian, etc. It was at a University, so I'm surprised they didn't flunk us and kick us out, we were so dismal.

But then the movie started, and the music sort of carried us away into the story. That whole audience was cheering and boo-ing and laughing and hissing and crying and applauding til you could hardly hear yourself think! It was a blast! It was more fun than a circus. I wish we did movies that way now.

Yesterday passed in a blur of fatigue.

I remember it was a beautiful day, sunny and mild, horsetail clouds all over the sky. A good day to go outside and learn to ride your bike or do some gardening or fly a kite or take a walk with your dog.

Some days I can be awake my whole 16 hours; other days I shuffle through with eyes half-open, seeing everything as a blur. Yesterday was a blur day.

Today is not looking to be much better, as much of it as I can see.

I had a "gig" to play on St. Paddy's Day.

OK, it was at the local elementary school, so not a paying gig.

After the parade on Saturday, we all received STRICT instructions from the PM to take apart our pipes, including the drones, to let them dry out. This I did. (see previous entry) This presented a new problem when I was getting ready to go to the school: when put back together, the drones would be out of tune. Not a shadow of a doubt there. And no PM handy to get me in tune. Wah!! I didn't have a lot of time to mess around, so I got my tuner out and clipped it to the drones, one at a time, and got the little light to show green in the middle, instead of red to the left (flat) or red to the right (sharp). They sounded OK with the chanter, so I didn't have to mess with that, but I think the higher notes were flat. I couldn't get the chanter off, once applied, due to the PM's ministrations on Saturday, so I just left it.

I tuned my pipes!!! Sort of.

After all, he was justified in being so concerned, was Jason.

Let's talk science, here (and there is an amazing amount of science involved in piping: physics for blowing, sound wave and air pressure stuff for tuning--stuff like that). Human breath, which is what is generally used to play pipes, is generally warm. In the 80s or 90s F. March 15, 2008, SLC, was cold. In the low 30s F. If you blow warm, moist air through a cold tube, all the warm moisture that comes in contact with the tube condenses out into actual liquid, as oppossed to gas. For a more easily accessible example, look at the outside of your toilet tank on a hot day in July. All those drops of water on the outside is condensed water vapor from the hot air that has come in contact with the cold porcelain of the tank.

Inside a bagpipe, if you have liquids condensing, it stops your drones from working smoothly. It also sends you careening out of tune, both in drones and chanter. This is why most pipers install a moisture control system, to catch all that moisture before it has a chance to mess up the exquisite tuning you and/or the Pipe Major has been working on for weeks/months/years on your drones and chanter.

As I said before, I do not have a moisture control system.

It also struck me that I've never played these pipes in a parade before. I bought them in October '06, after the '06 parade season. During the '07 parade season, I only played 1 note and that was on the bass drum. So this was a baptism for these pipes. Not by fire, it turns out, but by water.

As I also mentioned, it was cold. If you don't keep blowing warm air into the pipes to keep them warm, they go out of tune. So we stood there for 90 minutes, and played tunes every 5-7 minutes. There was an amazing amount of condensation inside bag, drone, chanter . . . My drones went out of tune, as did my chanter, and the drones would stop playing during the tune, off and on. And of course I was standing next to Jason, who heard everything. After every tune he was back adjusting my reed or my drones or something. Finally I said, "I don't want to stand next to you any more." He laughed and said it was a good experience, a baptism by fire, to stand next to the PM. It was a horrible mess.

To top it all off, I used up all my lip strength keeping the pipes warm, so that when we stepped off in the actual parade, I could hardly keep the bag inflated.

You try blowing into a tube really hard for 90 minutes and see if you have any lip strength left after.

I have been looking into the cost of a Ross canister moisture control system (plus drone valves). It's gonna cost me about $145 before shipping. Yuck. I also have to get Kinnaird drone reeds, as my EZ-drones 1) are not long enough to stay in tune with the new chanters we have, and 2) do not stand up to the pressure of all that liquid. Kinnairds cost about $145 as well. Here are their qualities:

Kinnaird's unique curved carbon fiber tongue produces in a vibrant, rich cane sound. An o-ring bridle is used for tuning adjustments. Fine tuning can be done using an additional adjustment screw. These reeds are incredibly steady and require very little maintenance.

We're talking $300 here, with shipping if I order this stuff online. On the other hand, I won't have the liquid problem DISASTER I had on Saturday, and I'll be able to play both tenor drones, instead of just one. Luckily March has 5 weeks so I get an extra paycheck. And I'm working lots of extra hours this week and next, in trade for hours people are picking up for me when we are in NC/SC the first week in April.

On the other hand, the rest of the parades we have this year will be played in hot, dry weather.